23.0620.Punography

I tried to catch some fog …

… I mist.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a …

… seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid …

… he says he can stop anytime.

How does Moses make his tea? …

… Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went …

… Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club …

… but I’d never met herbivore.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity …

… I can’t put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns …

… It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood …

… but it was a Type O

Why were the Indians here first? …

… They had reservations.

(Editor’s note: Except it was US who put them on reservations!)

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory …

… I hope there’s no pop quiz.

Energizer Bunny arrested …

… He’s charged with battery.

How do you make holy water?

… Boil the hell out of it!

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

… A thesaurus.

What does a clock do when it’s hungry?

… It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger

… Then it hit me.

PMS jokes aren’t funny …

… Period!

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

I didn’t like my beard at first …

… Then it grew on me.

When chemists die

… they barium.