I tried to catch some fog …
… I mist.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a …
… seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid …
… he says he can stop anytime.
How does Moses make his tea? …
… Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went …
… Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club …
… but I’d never met herbivore.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity …
… I can’t put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns …
… It was a play on words.
They told me I had type A blood …
… but it was a Type O
Why were the Indians here first? …
… They had reservations.
(Editor’s note: Except it was US who put them on reservations!)
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory …
… I hope there’s no pop quiz.
Energizer Bunny arrested …
… He’s charged with battery.
How do you make holy water?
… Boil the hell out of it!
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
… A thesaurus.
What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
… It goes back four seconds.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger
… Then it hit me.
PMS jokes aren’t funny …
… Period!
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pointless.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
I didn’t like my beard at first …
… Then it grew on me.
When chemists die
… they barium.
Forever Bisbee 